Most students strive to be successful in most areas of their personal life and their academic studies simultaneously, but this is not always a simple task. As a student, one of the most essential things you’ll do is find a balance. While it is, of course, a challenge to be in extracurriculars, maintain relationships and still score well on the next test, it is not impossible, and in fact learning to have balance in life is crucial to success.

Meeting people and forming relationships is one of the best parts of being in high school but it’s easy to let personal situations get in the way, so it’s imperative to use the knowledge you gain from relationships in high school to shape your future connections. 

“It’s the playground where you learn how to navigate things once you no longer have relationships that are in such a close proximity,” College and Career Specialist Abbey Bryan said. “The other side of it is that you walk out of here on your own and you become accountable for your own choices academically.”

While relationships are valuable to development, it is important to keep a healthy balance between the influence of others and focusing on studies. Counselor Ashley Golden provides her top three suggestions as to how to keep a balance: “Connections, Communication, and Self-Reflection”

 Bryan shares a similar three tips.

“Make sure you know yourself and what your own needs are, communicate with the people around you what those needs are, and have strong enough boundaries to move in the way you need to move,” Bryan said. 

Ultimately, relationships and academics coincide and work together. Rather it be friends, family, or a staff member at school, it is good to have someone in your corner to call on along the way. There are strategies to keep you afloat and developing a support system is essential. While most students don’t utilize their counselors, they are a valuable resource and can assist in areas of struggle even with personal relationships.

“Lean on your counselors,” Golden said. “We’ve been there, we’ve done that, and we’ve also dealt with this all the way up into college age, so we have some experience and we have background knowledge on it.”

Remember, not only are you not alone in this, but plenty of others have been in the same situation before and made it out. 

Golden reflected on personal relationships as well as how they fit into her own life. She made the decision to temporarily “cut” off anyone who didn’t benefit her, later reconnecting with those who aligned with where she saw her life going.

Similarly, Bryan reflected on her time in high school where she learned to prioritize overall success over the influence of outside factors. 

“So in high school, I was the captain of the drill team, and in that leadership role, we had to make choices about who was going to dance that week and who wasn’t,” Bryan said. “And I got a lot of pushback from girls and then also parents who had opinions, and  it took me some time to learn how to not be swayed by other people’s emotions. At the end of the day I had to learn, if I again, I moved in accordance with my own values and I knew my heart in that moment was for the betterment of the team, then ultimately, I didn’t need to prove that to anyone. My own knowledge of that fact had to be enough.”

In the interest of personal success and growth it’s imperative to focus on what’s important. Setting these boundaries ahead of time will help be prepared when issues arise with the people you are connected with.“Make sure you know yourself and what your own needs are, communicate with the people around you what those needs are, and boundaries to move in the way you need to move,” Bryan said. “Have a conversation with yourself, know what your priorities are, what your own values are and if you are moving in accordance with your own values the people who have the privilege of being in a relationship with you can either respect that or don’t need to have a relationship with you. If anyone in your life that you’re spending time with is asking you to sacrifice your own health and wellness then that person is not your person.”